I did that for over six years with drinking; in 2011 I knew that it no longer served me. I knew that it put me in dangerous situations, introduced me to people I ordinarily wouldn’t associate with, effected my professional life and caused me to stand still, not growing, learning, or living life on life’s terms. Quitting the habit was one thing, but learning to live a healthy life is another.
I recently wrote about my life as a fashion blogger with a shopping addiction. I’ve always had an addiction for more; more success, more friends, more stuff and more happiness. I looked for more in all the wrong places- today, I’m able to focus on more spirituality and more recovery. However, I recently caught myself falling into some old patterns: looking for approval from relationships.
I believe the old saying is true; first a plant, then a pet, then a relationship. Despite the distance I have created from past relationships, I found myself running back. Why would things be different? Just because I am on a path to recovery doesn’t mean that old habits are suddenly okay. Just because I am in a healthier mental state doesn’t mean that the people who used to be in my life are suddenly good for me.
Today I called a friend and admitted that I was falling back. I caught myself. I reached out to a healthy network of people and admitted that I was in danger of falling into old patterns.
I’m learning to catch myself and set boundaries once again- and for that, I am grateful. Today, my own serenity, well being and health is my focus- one day at a time.