Month: July 2017

Living Beautifully

Kristin Fehrman2 Comments

I used to get tied up in day-to-day monotony, focused on all of the things I “had” to do or “should” do.

This was especially prevalent in New York. I didn’t always stop to enjoy the beauty around me or notice the little details that bring each day joy.

My life was so chaotic I didn’t enjoy the things I once loved, such as sitting to enjoy a smoothie, journaling, listening to the birds, painting my nails to coordinate with my outfit, or taking pictures of the sunrise. I rushed through life to get to the next moment; and that’s no way to live.

A rare moment of zen in Central Park

After leaving NYC last summer, I lived with family by the lake in a small Michigan town off exit 222, away from the modern conveniences of city living. It was the perfect “reset.” I enjoyed coffee in the backyard each morning, relaxed by the water, and actually enjoyed my meals- I stopped rushing and began to enjoy the moment.

That was when my true passion for mindfulness began.

Boating on Lake St. Helen

When I started this blog in the beginning of December 2016, I wanted to combine my mindfulness lessons with my love for style and living beautifully.  People have continually told me to relax and stop worrying about my makeup, outfit or hair- but those are things I enjoy.  It’s a part of “living beautifully.”

I believe there’s a fine balance between relaxing and simply feeling good for you.  Some days I want to run around in a baseball cap and flip flops, and others I want to wear my staple- the little black dress.  It all depends on the day.

Living beautifully is about balance.

Life in Boston has provided a perfect mix of city life and mindful living, as this historic city is so diverse with a mix of beauty, culture, and nature. Mindful in Style came naturally to me after just six short days, and I’ve enjoyed writing about my life of mindfulness, minimalism, style, and spirituality ever since.

What does living beautifully mean to you?

Keep Doing You

Kristin Fehrman4 Comments

Lately I have been seeing a lot of propaganda online about what is on trend, what not to wear and worse, what men want you to do and how they want you to look.  From how to act to what to shave, I have begun holding silly resentments at those articles and the people who wrote them.  At the risk of sounded bitter or jaded, I’ve got to say- who cares “what men want?”

I would rather be alone forever than change for someone else.

This is probably why I have been single for nearly three years; I am quite stubborn and fiercely independent.  I’ll run away when things don’t work out instead of staying in an unhappy relationship.  Appropriately, my editor at Thought Catalog wrote this article that popped up in my Facebook feed, which couldn’t be more perfect for today’s sentiments.

I have dabbled with dating apps while living in Boston, only to have a few dry conversations and less-than-stellar dates.  Nothing has stuck… not even a good laugh or a friendship.  It’s always the same thing- “how do you like Boston?” “What do you do for work?” “You seem to move a lot.” “Do you ever take off your sunglasses?”

Stop.  Better yet, I need to stop.

I’ve felt judged and belittled, which is all on me.  This certainly isn’t a period of my life where my stress level can tolerate dating, what others think of me or the “big picture.”  I need to focus on myself and the now.

I’ve repeatedly thought, “maybe this time will be different,” hoping to find a diamond in the rough.  Dating used to come naturally for me, but at 30-something I continually find disappointment.  It’s just not time yet.  I’ve run back to unhealthy past relationships because I know what I’m going to get, which just fuels the insanity.

After talking with a good friend on Sunday about our shenanigans, we came to the conclusion that we both just need to focus on ourselves.  Old traumas are brought to the forefront when I meet people who try and change me for their own fancy, something I didn’t really acknowledge until this past spring.  While it would be nice to have a buddy to do things with, explore the east coast, drink coffee with in the morning and talk to at night, I have plenty on my plate to keep my life full.

Until the day I do meet my best friend who compliments my life, not try to change it, I’ll continue to focus on myself, my career, my friendships, and my oversized sunglasses.

Roll the Dice

Kristin Fehrman2 Comments

It’s hard to believe I left NYC one year ago today.  I remember that morning well- I was half packed, nervous and defeated.  I had been staying at a friend’s house with air conditioning because my tiny bedroom was full of boxes, humid and cramped.  I needed to be around other people to keep my mind off the decision I had made- to trade in my dreams of the New York hustle to create a more mellow, mindful life.

Although it wasn’t easy, it was one of the best decisions I could have made.  You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole, and I didn’t like the person I was becoming.  I had become cold and bitter, even when my work life was going well.  I vividly remember a hot afternoon walking down Fifth Avenue, pushing through people while trying to deposit a very nice paycheck into my bank account.  Money didn’t make me happy, nor did my surroundings.

I wanted peace.

Although I was able to find serenity in Central Park, along the Hudson River and at the New York Public Library, I stopped enjoying life day to day.  I figuratively “rolled the dice” and made the decision to leave.  It has been an interesting ride ever since that day in late July, and this morning I have been reflecting on how grateful I am and how far I have come.

I’ve never been nervous to make big decisions, but over the past year I have learned to focus on the moment and take life step by step.  Over the years I have continually looked at the “bigger picture,” not realizing that the simple choices I make in my day to day life can lead up to amazing things that I never would have pondered.  

My decision to move to Boston was one of the best I ever could have made.  It is the perfect balance between city life and mindful living; being along the ocean, the Charles River and lakes has brought me peace, while the opportunities I’ve been given have helped me practice living in the moment.

I’m still learning to slow down, focus on what I want, and let the universe do the rest.  If I am able to live in the moment, the fruits of my labor will be revealed in ways I couldn’t even imagine in my own mind- and I’m grateful to be present to notice them. 

Although I still hold New York near and dear to my heart, bigger, better, and faster isn’t something I need to implement in my daily life.  With a grateful heart, I’ll focus on the day, do the best I can and continue to live in the moment.  You never know when you’ll get lucky and roll a Yahtzee!

Raise Your Standards

Kristin Fehrman1 Comment


I’ve never been one to settle- settling down, settling for less, settling for something I knew wasn’t right for me.

However, I’ve definitely lowered my standards- even if it was only temporary.

In the past, I have accepted the way I have been treated by others even though I knew I deserved better.  I have communicated what I wanted or needed at the moment, yet felt guilty for expressing my true feelings.  I used to take all of the blame when things didn’t work out.

I spent Sunday with a dear friend, who told me about the weekend she had with a guy she has been seeing.  She already had a rough week and his behavior made her feel uncomfortable.  He was impatient with her, didn’t listen to her needs and insisted on certain things that she didn’t like.  She stated this to him, yet he turned it around on her and threatened to leave.

She thought it was all her fault.

Feeling emotionally depleated, she asked me what she did wrong.  We talked about their conversations, particularly one they had at dinner, and I was left with one conclusion: he has issues that have nothing to do with you.

Why do we take all of the blame?  Why do we immediately insist that we are the ones at fault?  I’ve learned this recently in my own relationships- I realized that I can’t fix people, despite being healthy, grounded and supportive.

People have to fix themselves on their own.

I’ve definitely continued to date the same type of person- charismatic, intelligent, funny; yet sneaky.  For whatever reason, I continue to do the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  If it didn’t work then, why would it work now?

My life is very full, and I have an amazing support system.  Getting mixed up with other people who don’t have my best interest at heart is not something I need in my life now, or ever.  My suggestion for my friend?  “Focus on yourself.  Stop with these guys.  Your work and home life will become much more clear once you focus on yourself, not try to pick up someone else’s pieces.”

Now, I just need to follow my own advice.  It’s a new moon, after all. 🌙

Summer Style in the City

Kristin Fehrman1 Comment


It has been a beautiful summer in Boston!  I was born and raised along the shores of Lake Michigan (which is hard to beat) and I’m thrilled to be living on the East Coast where Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard and the Cape are right at my fingertips.  I can’t  imagine living in a place where I didn’t have water all around me; it’s my source of inspiration, peace, and is perfect for my morning meditation.  

Boston is also known for its beautiful neighborhoods, lush parks, lovely architecture and rich history, so my summer has been filled with exploring and photographing the beauty around me.  Although I haven’t made it to the beach yet, I’ve enjoyed many days in Boston Common, along the Charles River and strolling through the Seaport District.


I spent the past three summers in New York City, where humidity is much more fierce than here in New England.  My go-to ensemble– the little black dress and oversized sunglasses- still suits me well for any occasion; work, play or for a night out.

Some may say to avoid black in the summer due to the heat, but I highly disagree.  There’s nothing chicer and easier than throwing on a black sundress, bangles and shades, complete with a bright bag and lipstick.

What’s your summer style?

Real Queens Fix Each Other’s Crowns

Kristin Fehrman1 Comment

“Crown and anchor me, or let me sail away.”

Over the years I used to try to be what others wanted me to be.  This left me irritable, lost and confused.  I’ve roamed from state to state, city to city, looking for who my true self is.

I used to compromise my values for friendship, approval and love.  I looked for my crown in all the wrong places.

One person who has always anchored me, reminding me who my true self is, is my best friend.  We have faced the same struggles and have the same nervous thoughts when our anxiety gets the best of us.  We laugh about the same quirky things and have the same pet peeves.  Whenever I’m feeling a little uneasy, I know she will understand.

Near or far, the best friendships are the ones that know no distance.  Although we have both ventured from the shores of Lake Michigan, we always pick up exactly where we left off.

She’s given me the strength to be myself and to sail away from negative situations, thoughts and people.  I have found a sense of purpose in my passions, and she has supported me through it all.  

I’ve learned to raise my standards and rely on the universe.  Our thoughts are powerful, and I realized recently that I’m still trying to repair old relationships and habits that no longer suit me.  If I accept the way I am treated, then the universe will give me the old junk that is unhealthy.  I don’t have to live like that anymore.

Thanks to female strength and the women who have helped fix my crown, I no longer have to accept the things I did in the past.  “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.”  Today I will settle for more, reach high and find those people who will fix my crown- not try and take it, move it or change it.

“If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress.” -Buddha