That Neutral Feeling

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After what has felt like an endless winter (and the only season I’ve lived in Boston), signs of spring have finally started to emerge.  Sailboats in the Charles River, tulips blossoming and grass filling the Greenway.  Finally, growth!

Despite signs of a sunnier season approaching, I have been feeling a little bit neutral. Nothing has been particularly exciting, but nothing has been wrong, either.

I spent the majority of my weekend relaxing, reading and binge watching Parks and Recreation.  I brainstormed book ideas.  I ordered a cheeseburger and went to the library. I went for a walk and journaled.  I did all of the things that normally make me happy, give me energy or inspire me, but lately I’ve just been feeling neutral.  Not high, not low. Not particularly excitable but not depressed either.

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I felt a little concerned about this (especially after eating that cheeseburger), so I chatted with my roommate, who has been a great spiritual guide.  She shared some feedback that one of her coaches gave her recently:

It’s okay to feel neutral.

It is okay to stand still and be in the moment.  Feeling neutral doesn’t mean you’re numb- it just means you’re at peace in the present.  I thought about all of this for a while.  I started out by picking up my journal, reading what I wrote last week, and realized one major thing: I skipped my morning readings and writing for three days.

Yep.  I need to practice what I preach!  

So, in honor of a new month, I decided to jot down a few of the things I have to look forward to these next few weeks (and there’s a lot!).

  • Springtime
  • Baseball season
  • I love where I live
  • Being able to help others through writing
  • Mom is visiting from Michigan this weekend
  • Visiting friends in New York this spring- more baseball
  • Summer is also just around the corner… New England beach days!
  • Last but not least: opening up to infinite possibilities

The takeaway: Whenever I start to feel a little neutral and may be on the verge of letting my thoughts become negative, I just have to stop, take a deep breath, and remember to stay grateful.  There is so much to look forward to, and it all stems from your outlook.

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