Table for One- Enjoying a Date with Yourself

Coffee at one of my favorite NYC spots, Cafe Lalo

Solo dining has been one of my favorite pastimes over the years, from writing at bistros to lunchtime people-watching along city streets.

I’ve never been uncomfortable eating or showing up places by myself; from movies, museums, events, to concerts, I enjoy my own company. I simply adore being in my own little world, the lack of small talk, and coming and going as I please (I’m also known for the Irish goodbye).

I remember one particular evening a few years back when I took myself on a date. Yes, a date- with myself.

I was living in San Francisco and had a free Friday evening; no plans, no friends around, no dates lined up. I thought to myself, “what would I do if I did have a date? What would I want to do?”

I was in the mood for sushi, so I got dressed up, went for a stroll, and ended up in Japantown, where I indulged in spicy rolls and a movie at Sundance Kabuki.

It was the perfect Friday night with me, myself, and I.

Looking back, not much has changed in the past six years. I still thoroughly enjoy my own time and space and have lived in three other cities since that San Francisco evening. It goes without saying that I don’t have a problem adjusting to new, unfamiliar environments. However, this move has been different; this time I haven’t made much effort to be social. I’ve been given opportunities and have been asked out on dates, but lately something clicked:

Being in my own company sure feels good.


No compromising, no miscommunication, no confusion. Time to myself- time to reflect, learn, and grow. Time to be me. Whether you’re single or attached, there is something priceless about becoming your own best friend. As Carrie Bradshaw said,

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

Being alone has taught me to be my own best friend, my spirituality has become my support system, and staying in the moment has kept me grateful for what I have.

Until the day comes when I meet someone who is worth sharing my chocolate lava cake with, I’ll enjoy every bite to myself.

After all, the best things are worth waiting for- and I will never settle for vanilla.


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